I Can See for Miles Read online

  Charlie couldn’t prevent the smile that twitched at his lips. Josh looked so childlike in that moment that Charlie wanted to reach out and brush his hair from those hazel eyes. He cleared his throat. “Okay, why don’t we go now? I’ve got about half an hour before we have to start getting them saddled up. I’ve got the perfect horse for you if you’re nervous.” Lifting his hand toward Josh, Charlie left it hanging in midair and swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. “Um… is it okay if I touch you?” Charlie rolled his eyes at Josh’s obvious war within himself not to answer Charlie with a million and one caustic rejoinders at his question and was quite impressed at the evenness of Josh’s tone when he replied. He wasn’t so certain he could have been as calm if the situation had been reversed.

  “Sure… there are three steps off the porch, right?”

  “Yeah,” Charlie acknowledged quietly, taking Josh’s elbow in a firm grip and guiding him down the steps and up the trail to the stables. “The horses here have been handpicked, Josh. So you really have nothing to worry about. I mean, I have a lot of kids come through here. I needed to make sure that they would feel perfectly safe. In fact,” he said with a grin as he guided Josh into the barn. “Dottie, here”—he took Josh’s fingers in his and placed them on the soft velvety nose that was hanging over the door—“wouldn’t break into a gallop if she was being chased by a horde of rattlers. That would take far too much effort.”

  Josh’s fingers trembled slightly against the softness of the horse’s nose and after a few moments, his lips lifted in a slow smile, filled with wonder. Charlie watched Josh move his hand experimentally up and down, acquainting himself with the shape and texture of Dottie’s skin beneath his palm. “Ooops,” Josh started, and his grin widened as she lifted her head and nibbled gently at his long fingers. “I’m guessing she’s after a snack.”

  Charlie chuckled at the childish glee on the other man’s face. “Dottie’s always after a snack,” he replied, grabbing an apple from the bag on the floor between the stalls. “Here.” Taking Josh’s hand, he turned it palm upward and placed the apple in the center. “Hold your hand steady, and she’ll find it. But I warn you, she’s a drooler.”

  “Oh my God,” Josh breathed when Dottie curled her lips and took the apple from his hand. “That is the grossest and most amazing thing I’ve felt in a long time. The way she took it from my palm, so carefully and so gently. Apart from the drool, I barely felt a thing.”

  “Told you she was a softie. Would you like her for the trek? Don’t forget that you’ll have Mario and Greg with you, plus me and Jason will be at the front and the rear of the group. You’ll be perfectly safe.” Charlie couldn’t help but be caught up in Josh’s stunned amazement, feeling the sudden urge to giggle like an idiot rumbling in the pit of his belly.

  “Thanks, Charlie.” Josh lowered his voice, then he looked at Charlie, his expression sheepish. “Thank you for doing this for me. I… um… wanted to apologize for last night. I get the feeling I made you uncomfortable at the barbecue, and that’s the last thing I intended.” He shrugged. “Just wanted to let you know that I’m not a complete asshole.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Charlie tried to keep his tone light as he brushed off Josh’s apology. “My parents tend to get a little carried away whenever there’s a man vaguely close enough to dating age around.”

  “Yeah, I know the feeling. Except of course my parents are called Mario and Greg.” Josh raised his hands, palms up, and grinned. “But don’t tell them I said that… ’cause he may be lacking a little in the height department, but Mario can still kick my ass into next week.”

  “Don’t worry; your secret is safe with me,” Charlie countered. “Shall we head back? I need to give everyone the lowdown on the trek and the dos and don’ts, etc.”

  “Sure.” Josh reached out one more time, and Charlie scratched Dottie’s neck fondly as the sweet-natured horse nudged Josh’s fingers. “I’m trusting you to be gentle with me, Dottie.” He grinned at the harrumph Dottie gave, and Charlie laughed again at the face Josh pulled when he was hit full in the face with Dottie’s less-than-fresh apple breath. “Okay, Mr. Cooper, lead on.”

  As Charlie lifted his hand to cup Josh’s elbow, he felt a heavy nudge against his shoulder from Dottie, sending him stumbling into Josh. “Sorry,” he muttered, staring at his hands where they rested on Josh’s extremely muscled chest, the tips of his fingers touching the honey-toned skin that could be seen above the V-neck of the shirt Josh wore. It was unbelievably soft, and warmth radiated from Josh in waves. “Dottie….” He trailed off as he felt Josh’s big hands move around his waist when Dottie nudged him again. This close, he could see the gold flecks in Josh’s eyes as they stared down at him, and all he had to do was lean up a little and he could press his lips against that wide mouth.

  “I guess everyone’s a matchmaker around here,” Josh mumbled, one of his hands moving from Charlie’s waist and trailing up Charlie’s arm until he met the line of Charlie’s jaw with his fingertips. Charlie swallowed a moan at the tentative stroking of Josh’s fingers and a tremor ran through him when Josh’s fingers drifted to his mouth, just as they had the night before. “Your momma’s wrong about one thing, though,” Josh said softly, bending his head with purpose. “You’re not pretty.”

  “No?” Charlie couldn’t help the gasp that fell from his lips. He should be pulling away. This was completely unprofessional. Josh was a client. Why wasn’t he pulling away?

  “No,” Josh replied, his tongue snaking out to moisten his lips. “You’re beautiful.” Josh’s eyes fluttered and closed and with a precision that had Charlie moaning aloud, Josh kissed him.

  It had been a long time since Charlie had felt anyone this close to him, felt lips moving across his and a hard, muscled body pressed against the length of his own. The kiss was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He felt it everywhere. Josh’s lips were warm against his, igniting his nerve endings in a sensory overload. Charlie was drowning in a sea of sensation and it made his head spin. Moving his hand up Josh’s jaw and around the back of his neck, Charlie parted his lips on a whimper at the nervous flick of Josh’s tongue.

  Charlie buried his fingers in thick, soft, chestnut hair and tilted Josh’s head while he ravaged the big man’s mouth. It had been so long since he’d kissed or been kissed by anyone that he could hardly catch his breath. Josh’s scent filled his nostrils, wrapped him up in the musky, spicy smell of Josh’s cologne and the man beneath it. The slide of Josh’s tongue against his was intoxicating. He wanted more of it, wanted more of the man shuddering against him. He sucked on Josh’s lower lip, nibbling it with his teeth and then soothing it with his tongue, and he felt his stomach flip at the moan that came from Josh, feeling it vibrate against his lips. Charlie gave a moan of his own when he felt Josh’s hands slide down his back and curl around his ass, hauling Charlie against him.

  When Charlie felt Josh’s hardness, it was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over him. What the hell was he doing? Anyone could walk in! He couldn’t do this. Wouldn’t do this. Pulling back and releasing Josh abruptly, as if the man burned his flesh, Charlie backed up a few steps, lifted his hand and put it in the middle of Josh’s chest, stilling him when the man made to close the gap.

  “Charlie?” Josh said quietly, his breath falling from his lips in harsh gasps.

  Looking up, Charlie saw the confusion in Josh’s eyes, and he squared his shoulders. “I’m sorry, Josh. That was unprofessional of me. It won’t happen again.”

  “What if I want it to?” Josh took a determined step forward.

  Charlie tried not to let his gaze dwell on Josh’s kiss-swollen lips, still wet with the trace of their kisses. “It can’t. Look… Josh… it’s better this way.” Shaking his head, if only to himself, he took Josh’s elbow and turned him firmly, guiding him out of the barn.

  “Better for who?” Josh asked as they headed back down the trail, his usually booming voice small and quiet, so Charli
e had to strain to hear him. Charlie wanted to take the hurt out of Josh’s gaze, but he couldn’t, and he simply replied, “For me.”

  Chapter Six

  JOSH could almost smell Mario’s anger when he and Greg stomped through the open cabin door. “How did you get to the cabin by yourself?” Mario asked gruffly. “You went outside to talk to Charlie, and then he came back alone. What the hell happened?”

  “I walked to the cabin. I lost my sight, not the use of my legs,” Josh said sarcastically, as he began to exchange his sneakers for the cowboy boots he’d brought with him

  “Okay,” Greg said slowly. “And the rest of it?”

  Josh threw his hands in the air in frustration. “Jesus, do I have to share every single thought I have with you two?” He knew they were worried, but he barely knew what was going on himself, so how the hell was he supposed to explain it to them? “Back off, give me some fucking space—stop smothering me.”

  “Well, if you won’t tell us,” Mario said, the threat to interfere clear in his tone, “maybe I’ll ask Charlie. Because I’m curious as to why you had a smile on your face when you woke up this morning and now you look like you want to break something.”

  “Stay out of it, Tavella.” Josh’s tone held a similar note of warning. “Or it’ll be your face.”

  “Okay….” Greg drew out the word, and Josh recognized the calming note in his voice. He’d heard it many, many times. “Although all the testosterone in the room is making my nuts tighten, Josh, you need to calm down. Mario, you need to breathe before your head explodes. Josh’s right. He doesn’t have to share if he doesn’t want to. We’ve got to get down to the stables for the trek. So let’s just go cool off, enjoy the morning, and we can talk about this later. If Josh wants to, that is.”

  “Something happened between those two. Josh has a face like thunder, and Charlie looked like someone had shot his dog,” Mario said angrily. “You can’t tell me you’re happy to just let this go?”

  Josh picked up on the soothing kiss Greg bestowed on Mario and also caught the mumbling Greg was obviously doing in Mario’s ear. Did they think he was stupid? “Of course, I’m not,” Greg said softly. “But we can’t force him. This week was supposed to be about him opening up. I don’t want him to close off completely again.”

  “Jesus!” Josh hissed, shoving his foot into the second boot, then getting to his feet. “I’m not fucking deaf either. Super-spidey hearing, remember? Don’t discuss me like I’m not here. I fucking hate that!”

  “Josh, it’s okay—you don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.” Josh grew even more frustrated at the soothing note in Greg’s voice, as though he were talking to a five-year-old. “Come on let’s go, or we’re going to be late.”

  Josh grabbed a handful of hair either side of his temple and emitted a frustrated groan between his lips. “Fuck you and your reverse psychology, Watts!” he shouted. “I hate it when you do this.” He dropped his hands to his sides in defeat, imagining the smug smiles on both men’s faces. “He kissed me. Are you happy now?”

  “He kissed you?” Mario’s voice was filled with disbelief.

  “Yes… and I kissed him back.” Josh sank back onto the couch behind him and buried his face in his hands, waiting for the third degree.

  “And we’re not happy about that?” Greg questioned softly.

  “He said it can’t happen again.” Josh curled his fingers into a fist and brought it down on the arm of the sofa. “Said it’s better this way.”

  “Better for who?” Mario prodded, putting a hand on Josh’s thigh.

  “For him.” Josh shook his head, confusion skittering around his brain. “There’s this tension in the air every time we’re around each other. I know it’s not my imagination. He feels it too, I know he does. He couldn’t have kissed me like that otherwise.” Taking a deep breath he stood up and pulled down his T-shirt with a firm hand, determination in the movement. “There’s a reason he’s pushing me away, and I’m going to find out what it is.”

  TWENTY minutes later, Josh found himself sitting on Dottie’s broad back, his feet secure in the stirrups and a riding hat firmly pushed onto his mop of hair. He had, of course, complained teasingly about the hat, stating that a cowboy needed a Stetson, didn’t Charlie know that? He had street cred to protect. Charlie promised him a Stetson if he didn’t fall off on his first trek. Slightly mollified, Josh settled back on Dottie and clasped her reins loosely in his hand as they’d been instructed. Charlie told everyone that Sophia and Adam had opted out of the pony trek and that Maggie and Tom were going to set them up with some games and maybe even start up the new potter’s wheel that had arrived last week. Josh tried to ignore the sudden flash of the famous clay scene from Ghost skittering across his brain, starring Charlie and him rather than Swayze and Moore. A smile played around his lips as he filed it away for later.

  “Okay, everyone,” Charlie said briskly. “Now we’re all ready. Jason is at the rear with Porthos, and I’m up front with Aramis. The trails are more than wide enough for two horses, so your sighted partners are at the right of you. Greg, if you just go singularly behind Mario and Josh, that’ll be great. Okay, gang, let’s get going. If we’re lucky, we might hear the eagles as we go around Eagle Ridge. They’re nesting again, something I know a particular young man in our party is just a tad excited about.”

  Josh chuckled at the whoop of joy from Davey and turned his head in Mario’s direction as they began to move off. “Don’t let me fall off, Tavella. I’m trusting you to get me through the next hour or so with some dignity intact.”

  “You know me, man,” Mario replied solemnly enough, although Josh could tell he was holding back the urge to laugh. “I got your back. So if you fall on your front, it ain’t my fault.”

  As the horses ambled along, Jason and Charlie kept up a steady stream of information—detailed descriptions of flowers, trees, rock formations, and the contrast in the blues of the sky—to enable each and every one of them to create their own picture in their heads of the trail around them. Josh let the sound of Charlie’s voice wash over him every time the man spoke. It felt like a caress on his skin, and he could almost see the blue of the sky and the yellow of the sun as it warmed his flesh. He could smell the freshness of the greenery around them, and the scent of pine trees floated on the air as they moved higher up the trail toward Eagle Ridge. As the gradient increased, Dottie harrumphed and put a little more effort into her rolling gait, while Josh leaned back in the saddle and grimaced to himself, turning his head as he felt the warmth of Mario’s leg brush against his.

  “You having a good time, man?” Mario asked, patting Josh’s thigh.

  Josh nodded. “Me and Dottie have an understanding, don’t we, Dottie?” he said softly, rubbing his fingers through the horse’s mane, feeling her neck move up and down as if she were answering his question. “Mario? What’s Dottie like? Charlie didn’t tell me what color she is or anything.”

  “Me? You know Greg’s better at this kind of shit.” Josh looked pointedly at Mario and his expression was unashamedly smug when Mario sighed heavily. “Okay, she’s like this honey-gold color, and her mane is like…. I dunno. It’s kinda corn-colored… no, wheat-colored. It’s beautiful, and she’s got these huge brown eyes that have a definite ‘I ain’t gonna take no shit, so don’t even try it’ look in ’em.”

  Josh laughed, a deep, rich belly laugh, taking the information Mario had given him and coming up with his version of Dottie, hoping it was as close to the real thing as possible. “That’s my girl, Dottie. Don’t ever change,” Josh said, leaning forward slightly to pat her soft neck. “See, you did great, Tavella. I have a perfect picture of her in my head now,” he teased. “You don’t always gotta be such a hard-ass. Wow… is that what I think it is?” Tilting his head, Josh looked up toward the sky as a high-pitched screech echoed around the valley.

  “Yeah. There are two eagles circling above us, dude. I reckon they’re about thirty feet up, just lazily f
lying around, watching us watching them. They’re beautiful.” Mario was obviously awed by the sight. Josh could hear it in his voice and feel the emotion in the way Mario squeezed his thigh in excitement.

  “They’re here, Charlie, they’re here!” Davey’s enthusiastic shout echoed around them. “What are they like, Charlie? Is it Thor and Lissa?”

  There was a long pregnant pause before Charlie answered, and Josh frowned, wondering what the delay was. Why wasn’t Charlie answering? What was going on? He was about to ask when he heard Charlie clear his throat and begin to speak. His voice wobbled on the first few words, but Josh doubted anyone else noticed—but he did.

  “It is indeed, Davey. Guys, last year when we were here, Davey named our resident eagles. Thor has about five feathers missing on his left wing. We don’t know how it happened, but we’re guessing that he either got into a fight, or—” Charlie chuckled softly. “—Davey thinks Thor may have been late home for dinner one night, and Lissa was a little bit mad.”

  Jason’s deep bellow suddenly bounced off the rocks around them. “Okay, guys. Just up ahead is a little picnic area. Maggie and Tom packed us a pretty tasty lunch, so we’re going to stop and eat and have a breather before we go further up the valley and around, which will lead us back down to camp. Everybody happy with that?” Josh heard the other man burst out laughing at the shouts of “Hell Yeah” and “Woo-hoo” that answered his question, and he urged Dottie on. Not that he couldn’t eat. He could always eat, but he wanted to stop so he could talk to Charlie and find out exactly what had happened.